


portrait du jeune garçon en feu

by hwanaissance



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: (Don't we all), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Autistic Zuko (Avatar), Childhood Trauma, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Inspired by the fact that the Gaang never learned how Zuko got his scar, Katara's kind of a bitch, Let Toph Say Fuck, M/M, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Ozai's A+ Parenting, POV Alternating, POV Third Person Plural, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, zuko has daddy issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:01:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24907288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hwanaissance/pseuds/hwanaissance
Summary: Zuko always acts weird but the way he acts when Hakoda comes to stay with them is... another level. And no one can seem to figure out why.
Relationships: Hakoda & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Zuko
Comments: 48
Kudos: 907
Collections: WIPs I’ll Wait Patiently For, avatar tingz





	portrait du jeune garçon en feu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter tw // panic attacks, implied (?) child abuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted an angsty hurt comfort sorta zukka slow burn gaang + hakoda finds out abt zukos childhood and tried to help him fic and when i couldn't find one that fit my tastes i decided to make one

Toph may be _physically_ blind _,_ but she was not _emotionally_ blind like her friends that seem to have bricks for brains (no offense to them, but they were all rather dense), but she could still tell that something was _off._ Ever since Sokka had brought his and Katara's dad back, Zuko was acting weird. And yeah, Zuko _is_ weird, that's his thing, which is why it's definitely cause for concern that he's acting even _weirder._

Zuko knew Katara didn't exactly like or trust him, so he interacted with everyone as minimally as possible, and he kept his distance, but this was different. Toph couldn't remember the last time she heard Zuko speak, and he always sat either _very_ far away from the fire, or very close, usually around Sokka.

Toph didn't know if her friends didn't bring it up because they didn't care enough to, because they thought Zuko might lash out or revert in on himself further, or if they were literally just dense as all fuck. 

Zuko wasn't necessarily _close_ to any of them, but Toph and he had forged an interesting bond, and she also had the feeling he felt bad about burning her feet, so maybe he felt indebted to her or something... whatever. She was gonna get him to talk whether he liked it or not. 

Everyone was gathered around the fire for dinner, and it happened to be one of the days where Zuko sat far away from everyone else, or at least she presumed. She could hear Sokka and Aang's goofy laughs, and Katara talking quietly with Hakoda. It was her time to move. She set her earthen bowl down and stood up, trying to feel for Zuko.

Once she (was pretty sure) she located where he was by his almost worryingly erratic heartbeat, she walked over to him. She sat down next to someone that emanated much more body heat than the average person , and figured she guessed correctly. 

"Why're you all by yourself, Sparky?" She asked, trying to keep her tone casual. She already knew he was nervous or panicky for whatever reason by his heartbeat alone, and she didn't think he'd react necessarily well to anything confrontational right now.

He shrugged, and she only knew because she pressed herself against him. He only tensed for a second, before he relaxed (or well, became _less_ tense), and Toph almost thought she imagined it. 

"Not feeling very talkative today, Sparky?" She asked conversationally, letting a little concern bleed into her tone. Zuko seemed to be rather closed off and she wanted him to know that she cared, but she didn't want to scare him off. He shook his head and Toph could only tell by the slight _swish_ noise his hair made. Come to think of it, she never realized Zuko had long hair...

"You sure you don't wanna come join us? The fires nice and warm, just how you like it." She added playfully, hoping to cheer him up. Zuko exhaled shakily, and she couldn't tell if that was almost a laugh, or if he was getting angry.

"Just... just go back," She felt him wince as his voice cracked, "please..." He whispered, and Toph was at a bit of a loss. The Zuko she knew was loud, and angry, and proud and big and _bright,_ like a firecracker. Not small, or quiet or.. dull. Toph was a pretty 'fuck it it's none of my business' kind of gal when it came to other people's problem but she was starting to get concerned. 

"Spark-Zuko... I just.. I know we're not close or any of that shit but if somethings bothering you, I'm here, y'know..." Toph didn't consider herself to good at talking about _feelings_ but she figured she was the only one who would actually talk to Zuko, about this especially, and she'd probably feel shitty if she just didn't say anything.

"There's nothing bothering me." He said through gritted teeth, and Toph couldn't help but feel like she hit a nerve, though she couldn't quite think of anything she said that would have set him off, but Zuko did seem to be a bit touchy about feelings in general.

"Whatever you say, Sparky." Toph huffed, not annoyed at her friend, but annoyed that there was really nothing she could do for him. Knowing Zuko, he'd explode at one point or another-

"DON'T ACT LIKE YOU FUCKING CARE ABOUT ME! NONE OF YOU GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT ME!" He got to his feet, "KATARA HATES MY GUTS AND THE REST OF YOU JUST LET ME STAY SO I CAN TEACH AANG FIREBENDING SO HE CAN BEAT _MY_ FATHER!" He said ' _my father'_ like the fact that Ozai was his dad was _his_ fault.. "I DON'T CARE THAT YOU DON'T LIKE ME BUT DON'T YOU DARE ACT LIKE YOU DO! I'M HERE TO TEACH AANG FIREBENDING, THAT'S IT! WE'LL SEPARATE WHEN HE DOESN'T NEED ME ANYMORE, AND THAT'S FUCKING FINE! BUT IN THE MEANTIME DON'T EVEN PRETEND THAT YOU DON'T HATE ME!" He panted as he finished, and Toph could feel that he was shaking. She also felt two others coming they're way, and she felt like she should say something to him-

"Zuko!" Toph felt him flinch, but it felt so small she doubted the others noticed, "Do not yell at Toph! She came over here because you were being all _broody_ and wanted to be nice and talk to you! She doesn't have to deal with your terrible attitude but she did! And you yelled at her!" Toph understood that Zuko was lashing out more about how he felt, and less at Toph, but she forgot that Katara did in fact hate Zuko's guts, and also the emotional capacity of a rock.

"Katara, he's just upset, there's no need to-" Toph tried to defend him, because she understood. She lashed out because of her emotions sometimes too.

"No, Toph! Don't defend him! He's just a spoiled little brat! He's a prince, don't you remember? He probably got whatever he wanted when he threw a tantrum! Maybe he was banished because he whined too much to his mommy-" Katara taunted him, and Toph knew it was just because she was trying to defend Toph, and was getting a bit out of hand. Toph felt Zuko start to shake even more, and felt him walk what felt like agonizingly slow up to Katara.

"Don't you EVER say that! YOU DON'T KNOW _SHIT_ ABOUT ME! YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO JUDGE ME!" Toph could tell Zuko was in Katara's face, probably without even realizing. She felt the other person start walking over to the two.

"Zuko, Katara, please calm down-" He raised his hand as he spoke, probably to put it on someone's shoulder, and-

Zuko flinched so violently Toph almost thought she felt the earth tremble. He dropped to his knees with his head bent down, breathing audibly ragged. Toph could tell from the way his breath was hitting his chest that his head was bent, and she doubted he could lift it if he tried.

"Sir, I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get-get in her face I'm sorry please _please_ don't hurt me I really didn't mean to I'm so sorry _please-_ " Zuko cut himself off with a sob that threw him forward, collapsing on the ground since his arms couldn't hold him up. Toph felt Hakoda kneeling down, and winced because she didn't think that was gonna go well.

"Zuko-" Hakoda was right next to Zuko, and Toph guessed Zuko hadn't noticed because he flinched again, almost more violently than the last. Maybe it was the adrenaline or the panic but he pushed himself up on shaky arms, and covered his face as he curled up into a ball that made him look far smaller than the Zuko they knew.

"Zuko..." Toph tried quietly, but she didn't think he could hear her, ir anything for that matter. He tried to scoot himself away on the balls of his feet, while saying _no, no, no, please-_ and Toph felt her heart hardened with years of building up her defenses crack. Toph had been neglected and ignored by her parents, but if Toph's guess was right, Zuko had a different type of parental issue...

Zuko had backed himself up against a pillar now, shaking even more when he realized he had nowhere else to go. He was still curled up, with his head tucked into his knees, and arms held protectively in front of his face.

Toph didn't feel Hakoda or Katara moving ( _thank the spirits for that_ ) so she got up, and walked over to Zuko. She approached him very slowly, trying to make her steps loud even though she doubted he would hear a fire nation attack right now. She kneeled in front of him, just out of arms reach because she didn't want to freak the guy out more, and just when she started to slowly reach her arm out-

"Toph! Don't get so close, he'll burn you again!" Katara yelled angrily, and Zuko flinched, curling into himself even more and Toph was this close to yelling at Katara herself. Toph didn't care if Katara hated Zuko more than anything, couldn't she tell he was freaking the fuck out? Toph stood up again, but moved forward so she could touch Zuko's shoulder as lightly as possible. He flinched a little, but Toph assumed it was more involuntary than out of fear. She turned around.

"Katara! Stop being a fucking asshole for one second! Can't you see he is literally _HYPERVENTILATING?_ HE CAN'T FUCKING BREATHE KATARA, HE'S ALREADY PANICKING! If you're not gonna help then go the fuck away, he doesn't need your shit right now." Toph paused a moment, and when Katara didn't say anything or move, she knelt down next to Zuko, still touching his shoulder, but with a bit more pressure.

"Hey, Zuko. Sparky.. can you hear me?" Toph whispered, facing Zuko even though she couldn't see him. She felt him untense a bit and nod, and she smiled a bit. Baby steps. "No one's gonna hurt ya Sparky, I promise. And if anyone tried it we can whoop their ass together." Zuko exhaled shakily through his nose, and this time Toph could tell it was a laugh. "You wanna put your arms down Sparky? I bet they're tired." Zuko froze for a second, probably not even realizing his arms were still up, if he even realized he put them up in the first place. He slowly let them fall over his stomach. 

"Sparky, I don't know what kinda shit you've been through, or who fucked you up, but know that we, or at the very least I, care about you. I never pretended to. And you know that there's literally now way Ozai being your dad is your fault, right?" She paused, and sighed when she didn't get an answer. "It's not like we can pick our parents, Sparky. Just because your dads a mean old bastard doesn't mean you are. Yes, you are here because you can be Aang's firebending teacher, but if none of us liked you, you wouldn't be here at all! None of us hate you Sparky, promise." She held out her pinky, and felt Zuko lift his head to stare at it.

"You never made a pinky promise?" Zuko shook his head, almost timidly, "Well, there's a first for everything." She felt for his hand, and when she found it, she brought it up and linked his pinky with hers. "Pinky promises are _sacred,_ you can't break them!" She said with mock seriousness, and she felt Zuko loosen up a little more. She laughed at herself, and Zuko huffed a bit too.

"I'm glad you're here now, Sparky." She didn't mean that just because Aang now had a firebending teacher, and because he wasn't trying to kill them anymore. But also because Toph guessed that if Zuko had gone back to his family, they'd never see him again, fighting with or against him. She felt him loosen up a bit more ad he squeezed her pinky, and she felt that just maybe, he understood. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes the title is semi stolen from portrait of a lady on fire sue me


End file.
